The answer is simple - sometimes I cannot walk.
I do have good days, or at least good hours. In these good windows, sometimes I can manage to walk 5 feet to my couch to bathroom and back without shortness of breath. There are times where I can freely roam my house, and sometimes even use the stairs! There are times where I can even walk around a small store - these moments are amazing to me, it's like conquering my Everest.
The catch though... is that after I walk - I can't breathe, I have extreme tachycardia, I am so tired that I don't even have the energy to speak. I have to pay for the ability to walk. For me, walking is a privilege, not a right.
What makes me sad, is that I can't walk around grocery stores anymore.
It used to be a thing my dad and I did, a way to get exercise and to get out of the prison called my house. I hate being stuck at home. It's a lovely place and I get all the help I need, but there is a world beyond these four walls.
My answer to this isolation is being pushed around in a shopping cart! It's a way for me to still go out, and I love it. It seems weird to everyone else around me, but I love it. This is freedom.
Of course I get weird looks and nasty comments. I've been told that I'm sitting in the shopping cart because I'm too lazy to walk. Thanks for your judgement, you complete stranger. I would do anything for the ability to walk and not depend on others, but I can't. I have to find a way to do what makes me happy, regardless of how ridiculous it seems.
So yeah, I'm a 21 year old who has to get pushed around in a shopping card because my blood pressure fall too low and I get tachycardic when I walk. If you have a problem with it... well that is your issue, not mine.