If I wasn't a person who knew that Western Medicine is simply unable to help me, I would be absolutely depressed.
However, I don't rely on Western Medicine, whatever my condition is, well.. Western Medicine is just too far behind. Accepting that it cannot help me is freedom. I know it seems sad to the average person, but it is reality. Denying reality is kind of what can ruin your mental state.
Why hold on and grasp to something that cannot cure you? False hope can be so dangerous.
I scare doctors. It's okay. It makes me laugh. I'm a delicate patient.
Let me explain. I am in pain. But painkillers will make my insides bleed. The medicine to prevent my insides from bleeding have a side effect of making another part of my insides bleed. If I have an infection, I can't use antibiotics because it could lead to yet a worse infection. Imagine the irony, the cure for one infection can cause a worse infection. Any immunosuppression therapy I have tried has made my immune system even more active. So.. I'm kind of stuck. I am really stuck.
What is my plan to deal with this, you ask? Well I'm really good at not dying and staying conscious. Those are some of my life skills. Aside from that, accommodations, accommodations, accommodations.
My biggest accommodation to come is a WHEELCHAIR. I am so excited. It's in the process of well.. being processed but it is coming soon. It's a tiny lightweight titanium wheelchair. It is going to be - wait for it - HOT PINK. They have to customize it so it's taking some time but I CANNOT WAIT. I am also going to get electrowheels to add on to it, so I won't have to use much energy to wheel myself around when I am alone.
This is raising my hopes that I'll be able to go to school ONE DAY A WEEK! Hurray. I won't need to use it all the time, just on my bad days. If I've rested all day, sometimes I can walk around a small store, which I mentioned in a previous blog post. For longer distances and bad days.... well I would rather walk than be in a wheelchair, but when I need it, I simply need it.
I know, it'll be hard for you to see me in a wheelchair, but it's really not a bad thing. Yes, it sucks to see that this is where my life is... but this is where my life is and that's okay. I can't change this so I am going to accommodate my life to this. Is this what I had planned for? No. Is this my life? Yes. I'm going to make the best of what I have. Be happy for me, that I'll be able to do what I have set out to do regardless of how silly my accommodations look, not sad.
However, I don't rely on Western Medicine, whatever my condition is, well.. Western Medicine is just too far behind. Accepting that it cannot help me is freedom. I know it seems sad to the average person, but it is reality. Denying reality is kind of what can ruin your mental state.
Why hold on and grasp to something that cannot cure you? False hope can be so dangerous.
I scare doctors. It's okay. It makes me laugh. I'm a delicate patient.
Let me explain. I am in pain. But painkillers will make my insides bleed. The medicine to prevent my insides from bleeding have a side effect of making another part of my insides bleed. If I have an infection, I can't use antibiotics because it could lead to yet a worse infection. Imagine the irony, the cure for one infection can cause a worse infection. Any immunosuppression therapy I have tried has made my immune system even more active. So.. I'm kind of stuck. I am really stuck.
What is my plan to deal with this, you ask? Well I'm really good at not dying and staying conscious. Those are some of my life skills. Aside from that, accommodations, accommodations, accommodations.
My biggest accommodation to come is a WHEELCHAIR. I am so excited. It's in the process of well.. being processed but it is coming soon. It's a tiny lightweight titanium wheelchair. It is going to be - wait for it - HOT PINK. They have to customize it so it's taking some time but I CANNOT WAIT. I am also going to get electrowheels to add on to it, so I won't have to use much energy to wheel myself around when I am alone.
This is raising my hopes that I'll be able to go to school ONE DAY A WEEK! Hurray. I won't need to use it all the time, just on my bad days. If I've rested all day, sometimes I can walk around a small store, which I mentioned in a previous blog post. For longer distances and bad days.... well I would rather walk than be in a wheelchair, but when I need it, I simply need it.
I know, it'll be hard for you to see me in a wheelchair, but it's really not a bad thing. Yes, it sucks to see that this is where my life is... but this is where my life is and that's okay. I can't change this so I am going to accommodate my life to this. Is this what I had planned for? No. Is this my life? Yes. I'm going to make the best of what I have. Be happy for me, that I'll be able to do what I have set out to do regardless of how silly my accommodations look, not sad.